Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
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