Ambien. No doubt about it.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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