can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I had to cum in my sink.
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