I hate all girls vehemently.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize