it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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