Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
