We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
