is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
