You're so nebulous sometimes
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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