I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
You left your phone here
Wait...
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