IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
