I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
