Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
