the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
