dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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