you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
