No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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