I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize