Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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