What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
