It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize