Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
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