i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
