I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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