There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
