After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
