Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
