Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Randomize
