that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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