At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
