I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
