this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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