you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
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