she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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