Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
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i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
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