Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
