I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
