Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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