You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
