hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Randomize
