there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My cat gives me a boner
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
