Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
