I CAN MOONWALK!
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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