She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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