i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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