Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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