I'm eating all of the evidence.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
