Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
