I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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