all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
