i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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