Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
