Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
