dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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