You made me cry and you don't even care
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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