I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
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Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want a musical about memes.
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