Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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