the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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