dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize