But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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